Take a cue from life, not from lifestyle

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I would like to live very long. What should I do?"
"I think that is a wise decision," the doctor replies. "Let's see, do you smoke?"
"Oh, Half a pack a day."
"Starting now, no more smoking."
The man agrees.The doctor then asks, "Do you drink?"
"Oh, well, doc, not much, just a bit of wine with my meals, and a beer or two every once in a while."
"Starting now, you drink only water. No exceptions."
The man is a bit upset, but agrees grudgingly.
The doctor asks, "How do you eat?"
"Oh, well, you know, doc, normal stuff."
"Starting now, you are going on a very strict diet. You are going to eat only raw vegetables, with no dressing, and non-fat cottage cheese."
The man is now really worried.
"Doc, is all this really necessary?"
"Do you want to live long?"
"Yes."
"Well then, it's absolutely necessary. And don't even think of breaking the diet."
The man is quite restless, but the doctor continues, "Do you have sex?"
"Yeah, once a week or so..., but only with my wife," he adds hurriedly.
"As soon as you get out of here, you are going to buy twin beds. No more sex for you. None."
The man is appalled. "Doc...Are you sure I'm going to live longer this way?"
"I have no idea, but I assure you life is going to seem like an eternity!"

So what, if they can't solve their own problems, everyone has a solution for other people's problems. And the best one at that. Because they can take comfort in the fact that others have bigger problems than them. Also, it gives them a good feeling that someone is looking up to them. Which means, they conclude, they must be something. Otherwise, why would anyone seek their advice? And that is how they start feeling good about themselves. And take comfort that they are not alone in their sufferings. And that it is a way of life.

The ego loves to delight in being proud of itself. And the bigger the ego, the bigger the pride it takes. And what is the hallmark of a puffed-up ego? It is in the bigness of things. It is not contented with small things. It wants everything in jumbo size. That is why we have huge multiplexes and hypermarts now. It's not that they have sprung up to cater to someone's needs. It is a reflection of their ego. Because no one wants to feel small shopping in a small place, though most of your needs are met there. We want to feel important that we have all the money in the world to splurge, that we can afford all the "important" things in life, and that we are next to none. This race to be extraordinary is the bane of the modern generation.

But,the most extraordinary thing in the world is to be ordinary. It is the biggest miracle in the world. And the toughest thing to do. Because when you live an ordinary life, you don't feel important. And that is not acceptable to the ego. It has grand dreams, glorious designs, and larger-than-life goals. That is what all the masters of the eastern and western spiritual tradition has been advocating. But we miss the woods for the trees. And take what suits us in our grand enterpriise called the LIFE.

Cycling, jogging, walking, and running are the simplest forms of physical exercise. And, ironically you don't need anything to pursue them. Only the simple desire to get up and go. But no, we love to brag about our physical exercise too, so we end up toning our muscles in a gym, and ruining our health in the process. The day we stop living for people around us, and live the way we want to, we would not only respect ourselves, but the life around us too.

Went on a long bike ride to shake myself of all the stress at the workplace. And myst tell you, speed biking gives me such a high that I can feel the dance of nature all around me. And it is a wonderful feeling to be a part of God's glorious design. Try it out, you'll love it.

Keep away from people who have the 'gift of the the gab', they are out to corrupt you

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St Peter at the Heaven Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
He asked St Peter, "What are all those clocks?"
St Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said the man, "Whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."
"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"
St Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."
"Where's my clock?" asked the man.
"Your clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

Imagine, if we were to have clocks, ours would be enough to fan an entire city. We lie for a reason. We lie without a reason. And we lie just for the heck of it. For what? To show that we too are 'smart'. When people tell me that someone is 'smart', I know for sure that he lies through his teeth about his so-called incredible achievements. But very often people don't want to believe that he is lying because they would lose his 'good' company. He becomes so addictive for them that they start feeling bored when he is not around. Whether he is a friend, or an acquaintance, or even someone who is just a mere face in the crowd, they warm up to him with the glee of a teenager.

What makes people flock to those who have the 'gift of the gab'? Their naivete? Or is it their innocence? Or just the simple fact that he is 'good fun' as they call him? All and none. It is simply because most of them want to become like him -- smart -- but unfortunately they haven't been endowed with the talent. And so they take the easy way out. Patronise one who has. That is how the world has given rise to a Hitler, a Napoleon, a Mussolini, a Mao, a Stalin or any dictator that has ruled the earth with an iron fist.

Every ideology is false, every ism is a trap and every leader is a wolf in sheep's clothing. They wait for an opportunity to gobble you up because you have been a witness to his evil ways. That is how the saying 'Revolution eats away its own people' has come about. Whether it's the French Revolution or the Russian Revolution or any ideological revolution, the stronger of them has either killed or exiled his nearest leaders for fear of being exposed.

So, be aware of people who try to mesmerise you with their words. And keep a mile's length away from them. For they not only corrupt your mind, but they destroy your soul too. And we are so caught up with our ambitions that we can't realise them even if they are in our midst, because we need the other and vice versa. But, still you can avoid them by becoming aware of everything you do. When you become aware, the very act of awareness opens up a whole new world that you have been hitherto unheard of. And this world, like lightning, destroys all the garbage from your mind, as you are guided by the soul, and creates a godly space. And when the space becomes bigger and bigger, all the falsity in the being is annihilated. And that is how you become holy. And the ground you stand on becomes a sacred place. Not because you go on a pilgrimage. It is a sheer waste of time. You can utilise your time to go in. And delight in your being.

Went on a long 30 km bike ride to derive a cyclist's high -- the equivalent of meditative awareness. It pervades my being with such a wonderful calmness that meditation happens automatically. And lasts for most part of the day. Till I get back on my bike and start it all over again. What a wonderful vehicle a cycle is. Isn't it?

DEAR CHILDREN, I'M GOD HERE, PLEASE DON'T DO ME ANY FAVOURS, I CAN STAND QUITE WELL ON MY OWN, THANK YOU

My Dear Children (and believe me, that's all of you),

I consider myself a pretty patient guy. I mean, lookat the Grand Canyon. It took millions of years to get it right. And about evolution? Boy, nothing is slower than designing that whole Darwinian thing to take place, cell by cell, and gene by gene.

I've been patient through your fashions,civilizations, wars and schemes, and the countless ways you take Me for granted until you get yourselves into big trouble again and again.

I want to let you know about some of the things that are starting to tick me off.

First of all, your religious rivalries are driving Me up a wall. Enough already! Let's get one thing straight.

These are YOUR religions, not Mine.

I'm the whole enchilada; I'm beyond them all. Everyone of your religions claims there is only one of Me(which by the way, is absolutely true). But in thevery next breath, each religion claims it's My favourite one. And each claims its bible was written personally by Me, and that all the other bible's are man-made. Oh, Me. How do I even begin to put a stop tosuch complicated nonsense?

Okay, listen up now. I'm your Father AND Mother, and Idon't play favourites among My children. Also, I hate to break it to you, but I don't write. My long hand is awful, and I've always been more of a "doer" anyway.

So ALL of your books, including those bibles, were written by men and women. They were inspired, remarkable people, but they also made mistakes here and there. I made sure of that, so that you would never trust a written word more than your own living heart.

You see, one human being to me -- even a bum on the street -- is worth more than all the Holy Books in theworld. That's just the kind of guy I am.

My Spirit is not a historical thing, it's alive righ there, right now, as fresh as your next breath. Holy books and religious rites are sacred and powerful, but not more so than the least of you.

They were only meant to steer you in the right direction, not to keep you arguing with each other, and certainly not to keep you from trusting your own personal connection with Me. Which brings Me to My next point about your nonsense.

You act like I need you and your religions to stick up for Me or "win souls" for My sake. Please, don't do Me any favours. I can stand quite well on my own, thank you. I don't need you to defend Me, and I don't need constant credit.

I just want you to be good to each other.

And another thing: I don't get all worked up over money or politics, so stop dragging My name into your dramas.

For example, I swear to Me that I never threatened Oral Roberts. I never rode in any of Rajneesh's Rolls Royces. I never told Pat Robertson to run for president, and I've never EVER had a conversation with Jim Baker, Jerry Falwell, or Jimmy Swaggart! Of course, come Judgement Day, I certainly intend to...

The thing is, I want you to stop thinking of religion as some sort of loyalty pledge to Me. The true purpose of your religions is so that YOU can become more aware of ME, not the other way around.

Believe Me, I know you already. I know what's in each of your hearts, and I love you with no strings attached.

Lighten up and enjoy Me. That's what religion is best for. What you seem to forget is how mysterious I am.

You look at the petty differences in your Scriptures and say, "Well, if THIS is the truth, then THAT can'tbe!" But instead of trying to figure out My Paradoxes and Unfathomable Nature--which by the way, you NEVER will -- why not open your hearts to the simple common threads in all religions.

You know what I'm talking about: Love and respect everyone. Be kind, even when life is scary orconfusing, take courage and be of good cheer, for I am always with you. Learn how to be quiet, so you can hear My still, small voice (I don't like to shout).

Leave the world a better place by living your life with dignity and gracefulness, for you are My OwnChild.

Hold back nothing from life, for the parts of you that can die surely will, and the parts that can't, won't. So don't worry, be happy (I stole that last line from Bobby McFerrin, but who do you think gave it to him inthe first place?)

Simple stuff. Why do you keep making it so complicated?

It's like you're always looking for an excuse to be upset. And I'm very tired of being your main excuse. Do you think I care whether you call me Yahweh, Jehovah, Allah, Wakantonka, Brahma, Father, Mother oreven the Void of Nirvana?

Do you think I care which of My special children you feel closest to -- Jesus, Mary, Buddha, Krishna, Mohammed or any of the others?

You can call Me and My Special Ones any name you choose, if only you would go about My business of loving one another as I love you. How can you keep neglecting something so simple? I'm not telling you to abandon your religions. Enjoy your religions, honour them, learn from them, just as you should enjoy, honour, and learn from your parents. But do you walk around telling everyone that your parents are better than theirs?

Your religion, like your parents, may always have the most special place in your heart; I don't mind that at all. And I don't want you to combine all the Great Traditions in One Big Mess.

Each religion is unique for a reason. Each has aunique style so that people can find the best path for themselves. But My Special Children -- the ones that your religions revolve around -- all live in the same place (My heart) and they get along perfectly, Iassure you.

The clergy must stop creating a myth of siblingrivalry where there is none. My blessed children ofEarth, the world has grown too small for your pervasive religious bigotries and confusion. The whole planet is connected by air travel, satellite dishes, telephones, fax machines, rock concerts, diseases, and mutual needs and concerns.

Get with the programme!

If you really want to help then commit yourselves to figuring out how to feed your hungry, clothe yournaked, protect your abused, and shelter your poor. And just as importantly, make your own everyday life a shining example of kindness and good humour.

I've given you all the resources you need, if only you abandon your fear of each other and begin living,loving, and laughing together. Finally, My Children everywhere, when you think of the life of Jesus andthe fearlessness with which He chose to live and die. As I love Him, so do I love each one of you.

I'm not really ticked off, I just wanted to grab your attention because I hate to see you suffer.

But I gave you free will.

I just want you to be happy. Always. Trust in Me.

Your One and Only,

God.

MARRIAGE AND LOVE ARE ANTITHETICAL CONCEPTS, BOTH OF THEM CAN'T CO-EXIST AS THE SPACE IS TOO SMALL

Mary Jane, the very good friend of a wealthy broker, opened the door cheerfully one day, and then quickly attempted to close it when she discovered the person on the threshold to be her lover's wife.
The wife leaned against the door and said, "Oh, let me in, dear. I don't intend to make a scene, just came to have a small friendly conversation."
With considerable nervousness, Mary Jane let her enter, then said cautiously, "What do you want?"
"Nothing much," said the wife, looking about, "I just want the answer to one question: Tell me, dear, just between the two of us, what do you see in that dumb jerk?"

Groucho Marx, the yesteryear Hollywood comedian, puts it succinctly: Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? Ask anyone who is married and the first thing they would say, whether it is man or woman, is that marriage sucks. Then why is it that the society goes ga ga about it? Because they are scared that the unmarried person may eye their spouses, and it is this insecurity that keeps the concept of marriage afloat in the world. Not because of any enduring bond of love. In fact, marriage and love are two antithetical concepts. Where one exists, the other can't. Because the space is too small for two divergent concepts to co-exist. When one enters, the other finds an automatic outlet and disappears.

Marriage not only sucks, it is also a sickening institution. Even a mental institution is a far safer place to be than in a married household. It is so stifling that the wife waits for an opportunity to make a mistake, and if he doesn't, she gives him one so that he slips and she can take him to task. Similarly, the husband waits for an excuse to pounce on his wife to settle scores. What a charade?

Reams and reams of paper have been wasted to explain the glorious significance of a happy family. Not just that. Hundreds of films have been made to explain the importance of a close-knit family. But, everything comes to nought. And marriages continue to fall like nine pins. And that too with the rapidity of a supersonic jet. For the simple reason, marriage is not meant to be. It is a utopian concept that can be possible only in a highly evolved society -- where the man is not concerned about what his wife is doing, or a wife is least bothered whom the husband is flirting with. Because it comes from the knowledge that it is the natural order of things.

Went on a long bike ride today into the interiors of the city and got deliberately lost so that it would take a good deal of time to get out. That way my mind wouldn't be able to keep track of the number of miles I've logged on and feel proud of it. Besides, there is a thrill in getting lost. You not only get to see the inner city's beauty, which you don't get to see otherwise, but the very feeling that you are lost gets your adrenaline pumping making your journey a wonderful experience.

Also, have been doing some amazing breathing meditation, the one that is propounded by Osho, called the dynamic meditation. It is equivalent to biking 20 miles and the energy that it generates keeps me active the whole day. So, keep biking and keep breathing, because breath is life and life is breath, and all the secrets of the world are revealed to the person who can concentrate on his breath.

OUTER ACTS OF DEVOTION ARE NO SUBSTITUTES FOR THE REAL JOY OF MEDITATION

Three ladies die and meet St Peter, who is sitting behind a desk on front of the gates of heaven, getting ready to start his day.
"May the first person come," he says.
"Hello, St Peter," says the first lady.
"State your name and tell me how you spent your life," he says.
"Oh, St Peter, I am a nun, who spent my life helping those in need, and serving the Lord."
"Here, take this golden key, it will open the Gates of Heaven."
And off goes the nun.
"Next," says St Peter, turning to the second woman, "How did you spend your life?"
"I spent my life like a normal human being," the second woman says. "I told some lies, white lies here and there. But nothing serious."
"Here I give you a silver key. It is for the purgatory. You may go now," and sends her away.
"Next," he turning to the lone woman. "Tell me, how did you live your life?"
"Oh St Peter, my life was spent on parties I loved dancing, drinking, and having a different man every night. You might call me a creature of the night," says the beautiful girl.
"Here is a key made of copper," he says.
"Is that the key to hell?!"
"No, this is the key to my apartment."

Whether you are in heaven or in hell, in the market place or in the monastery, in the pub or in the purgatory, the human mind is constantly whirling with ideas of the world -- power, sex, recognition, and all the cravings that haunt humankind. And the saints are no different. You blurt them out and seek a release, while they suppress them in the name of discipline, and put up a proud facade to the world about their unflinching celibacy. But, dig a little deeper, and you will find their desires safely tucked away in the interior core of their being. What more, they are dangerously alive and kicking. They are the celebrities of the spiritual world, whose holier-than-thou attitude is meant to put them on a high pedestal, away from the floatsam and jetsam of society. No wonder, then, that celebrities have a common bonding with the so-called spiritual leaders and go seeking their blessings. Not because they want to change, but because the spiritual leaders know exactly how to make the celebrities, who considers them to be their alter egos, go after their cherished goals.

Spirituality or meditation is not about leading a disciplined life, and definitely not about achieving goals, but about leading a life of awareness. Because awareness brings about such a miraculous quality to our being that all the falsities dissolve of their own leaving us with a nothingness -- an empty space. And from that nothingness a pure joy springs forth. And it is such a simple thing, that it is impossible to believe that one can achieve miracles with the simple art of meditative awareness.

Yes, it is difficult to sit down for an hour everyday, because all the thoughts that have been safely ensconced in the back of our minds from our childhood come rushing in to seek our attention. We feel guilty, especially for the wrongdoings we have committed during our lifetime, which pop up during our meditation hours, that we just can't continue any further for fear of turning mad. So, we take the easy way out of visiting churches, temples, mosques, or a spiritual guru near our homes, so that we don't need to make any effort to change our inner being. And continue to fool ourselves that we are immune from all the vicissitudes of life. What a sham!

We are so used to our restless way of life that sitting silently is indeed a difficult task. And not advisable too. So the Zen tradition speaks of active meditations to prepare the body to endure the silent sitting. And it is very simple. Do every activity that you undertake, with a meditative spirit, whether it is sweeping, or driving a vehicle, or even eating. Slowly, the meditative spaces become bigger, and your being is enveloped in silence, that you become a lake of godliness.

I have been a strong advocate of active meditations. And the trio -- running, cycling and dancing -- have been my ways to enter the meditative spaces. However, I must admit that I have not been on a long bike ride for many days now. For one, it has been raining, which is a lame excuse, and two, I've been busy with blogging. But despite my busy schedule, I have never given up on my active meditations. I bike 20 kms a day to and fro from office, go for jogging in the park, and do a bit of sitting meditation in the night. But, still, there is scope for doing better, what say you?

Damn the society, take your life into your hands!!

A mother took her son to the psychiatrist and complained that he was always thinking about sex.
The doctor drew a square on a piece of paper, looked at the boy and asked, "Son, what comes to your mind when you see this drawing?"
The kid answered, "Looks like a window."
The doc said, "What do you think is going on behind that window?"
"People are behind that window," replied the kid. "They are huggin', kissin' and makin' love."
The doctor drew a circle and asked, "What comes to your mind when you see this?"
The kid said, "That's a porthole."
"And what do you think is going on behind that porthole?" inquired the doctor.
"Ah," said the kid, "There are people behind that porthole with their clothes off, drinking."
The doctor said, "Son, would you mind leaving the room? I would like to discuss this with your mother."
The boy got up to leave and as he reached the door he turned around and said, "Hey, Doc, can I have those dirty pictures you drew?"

It would not be a misnomer to say that we don't know what we are doing: we are aimlessly drifting around, thinking other people's thoughts and doing what they expect from us. And, like the little boy, thinking dirty while, at the same time, pretending to be sophisticated. And, we are so used to living according to the ways of the world, that we have forgotten our true selves. So much so, that living the society's way has become our second nature. Or even our first nature. Because, it takes guts to live the way we want. It means, people mistakenly believe, that you will be cut away from the world. On the contrary, you look at people from a truly positive perspective, as if you are looking at him/her for the first time in your life. As you go along the path of meditative awareness, you annihilate your past slowly and steadily, and that leaves you with a true inner silence. You will be so silent inside, that as you gradually learn to live from inside out, you begin to be in tune with godliness.

It has been a long time since I've written something in my blog. Not because I don't have the time, but because I've gone to my village in a remote corner of India, which doesn't have an internet connection. And it is so small that we don't have public transport too. Only, of late, the four-wheelers have started plying to ferry people to the nearest rural headquarters four miles away. Every year I go to my village for two weeks, but this time, I went on some family work. Spent the whole time sorting things out. One thing I like about my village, however, is that since it is summer, and the sowing season is yet to start, I can see miles and miles of nothingness. It is so relaxing to the eyes that I make it a meditation looking into the nothingness. I can see the horizon where the earth and the sky meet, the dancing of the clouds, and the stillness of noiselessness. What more can you expect?

At the same time, I went on long hours of cycling deep into the countryside admiring the virgin beauty of the backlands. It's truly heaven. And I loved every moment of it. I'm desisting from describing the glorious moments I've relished, because even describing them would give away the charm.

You are virtually a god, when you are cycling

Paddy has a late night at the pub, and when it closes, he staggers outside in a drunken stupor. He wanders around the streets trying to remember which way to go home, and finally gives up. Paddy sits down on the street and looks all around him until a taxi pulls up beside him.
"Ah!" groans Paddy, clambering into the back and lying down on the seat. "Can you take me to number five, Fergus Street?"
The cab driver looks around at Paddy, and replies, "Hey, mister, this is number five, Fergus Street!"
"Ah!" groans Paddy. "Alright! But next time, don't drive so fast!"

In life, everybody is moving around in circles. They are always busy as if is is rush hour. And I am not talking about office hours. Busy doing what? Making a living, say many of them. I can understand if the pauper or beggar across the road says it, but the so-called rich people too are busy and don't have time for anything. Not the family, not the kids and not even the friends and wellwishers. They have ample money to last 10 lifetimes. But they can't stop from adding a couple of thousands of dollars more to their kitty. We laugh at people who are addicted to booze or cigarettes or for that matter to depression. But, we don't realise that running after money and fame is one of the worst addictions in the world. The more the merrier seems to be the watchword. But, the moot point is do they get the kind of joy like when you look at the sunrise or the sunset or when you see a toddler prancing around? Definitely not. We pay little heed to the simple joys of life, because they do not offer challenges. And anything that does not offer challenges is not worth bragging about.

Only when we realise that the ultimate joy in life comes from within, can we shun away the blues or the boredom or the depression -- the concomitants of a life running after money. And the earlier we do it, the better. Because life is too short and by the time you get a hang of it, you might not have any time left in the world to really say you have led a meaningful life.

The only thing that gives me joy in this world is the couple of hours I spend jogging around the park or cycling around the city early in the morning. My mind becomes so blank and my body so still that I can feel my energy throbbing all around me and inside me. I carry this meditative energy into my work, into my relationships, and into everything I do. And it gives me immense bliss at the end of the day, that I look forward to the next day's workout with the zeal of a child. Of course, during the day too I move around on my bicycle to keep my spirits soaring.

Could not blog for almost a week now as I was busy with planning my cycling routes and my jogging activity. Also, a diehard meditator, I go hunting for books or scour the net for some valuable tips to deepen my silent spaces.

But, I must tell you, it has been a wonderful week with lot of cycling and jogging and playful running. When you are inundated with sweat all over, and when you are so tired that you cannot move a limb, and the oxygen in the brain gives you an aha! feeling, what more do you need in this world? I am virtually a god and there is godliness in everything I do.

Cycling into the heights of ecstasy

Mandelwitz is due to be released from the mental asylum. He goes for an interview with Professor Potts, the chief psychiatrist, who tells him that he has to answer a simple question, sanely, before he can be released.
"What would be your first action," asks Potts, "when you get released from this asylum?"
"I would start a rock collection," says Mandelwitz, "and throw one through every window of this building!"
Mandelwitz is taken back to his room and another six months pass before he is interviewed again.
"What will you do first when you are released from here?" asks the head shrink.
"Well," replies Mandelwitz, "I will buy myself a new suit."
"Good," says Potts, "and then what will you do?"
"I will call up a gorgeous blonde girlfriend," says Mandelwitz.
"And then?" asks Potts.
"I will take her to a motel," replies Mandelwitz.
"That's fine," says Potts, "and then?"
"Then," replies Mandelwitz, "I will lock the door, sit her on the bed, run my hand up her stockings, rip off her garter, make a catapult, and break every window in this building!"

Every one of us is like the mad man. It is just a degree of difference. If any of you think you are any different from the mad man, put your hand on your heart and be true to yourself. Do you do what you want to do and what you like to do? And in the best possible way. And the answer would be a definite 'no'. Our worry, our restlessness, our insomnia, our nervousness are a result of a mismatch between what we want to do and what we are doing. This friction in our goals, in our aspirations, in our lives is the reason why there is so much unhappiness around the world. But don't worry, it just takes a couple of minutes every day to understand how you can get out of it. And when you know the trick, you let out a loud laugh.

One of the reasons why westerners go ga ga over meditation when they visit the eastern countries like India or Japan is that Zen masters and eastern gurus have taken them on a tour of their inner life and made them stay there for a while. It's like a miracle of sorts, for the peace, the joy, the bliss that they have witnessed cannot be compared to anything in the world. The only thing that comes near to it is the orgasmic ecstasy that one derives after sex. And that is why Osho has equated meditation with orgasmic ecstasy. And the more one goes into meditation, the more one reaches the heights of ecstasy. I have done it. I have achieved it with cycling, with running, with dancing, with walking, and with silent sitting.

It is such a wonderful feeling to be in an orgasmic high. Which explains why masters become celibates and don't get turned on by women once they taste the nectar of meditation.

It's been a long time, more than 10 days, since I've gone into cycling ecstasy. And I've done it today. And that is why the inner joy comes forth dancing in the form of this post. Biking, especially speed biking, stops the mind, throws the carbon dioxide out of the body, infuses it with a flush of oxygen and tires the body so much that when we settle down after an hour of biking, the whole body becomes an instrument of tranquility. We don't need to do meditation, it happens automatically. You keep wondering, after sitting for an hour, where all your restlessness has disappeared.

Went on a long 20 mile ride today after work and loved every cadence of it. Of course, I haven't stopped the dynamic meditation in the mornings which gives me a new high to take on the day. And when I complete it with a round of cycling in the evening my day is made. And I can't ask for more.

Sorry, I can't tell you, you're not a monk!!

A man was driving in the middle of nowhere down a secluded country road far from any cities. He got a flat tyre, and got out to walk for help. After walking for some time, he came to a small stone monastery. He knocked on the door and roused the monks. "I've got a flat tyre. Can I use your phone?" He asked.

The monks said they were sorry, but they did not have a phone. "If you stay tonight, you can get a ride on our wagon into town tomorrow," they said. So the man stayed the night, and they put him in a small room in the monastery.

In the middle of the night, the man was awakened suddenly by a noise. Not just any noise, but the loudest, most wonderful, most terrifying, most hair-raising noise ever.

He sat there, his heart beating for a few minutes, and he heard it again!Getting out of bed, he went running in the direction of the noise. It came again, making the hair on the back of his neck rise and his skin crawl. Finally, he came to a large door where the head monk was standing. The door was at least 15 feet tall, and made of solid-looking wood and metal. It had chains and bars and locks and a deadbolt on it, and was the most formidable door the man had ever seen.

"What was that sound?" he asked. "What made it? Is it behind that door?"

The head monk shook his head. "I'm sorry," he said. "I can't tell you; you're not a monk."

As the man turned away, he heard the noise again. "You have to tell me what it is," he begged.

"I'm sorry, I can't tell you, you're not a monk," said the monk.

The man tried to sleep, but couldn't get the noise out of his head. In the morning, as he was getting ready to leave, he heard the sound again. It made his ears ring and his mind whirl.

"Please tell me what made that sound," he said.

But the monks wouldn't. "I'm sorry, you're not a monk" was all they said.

The man left, and eventually got his car fixed and went back to his life. But he couldn't get the sound out of his mind. After a few months, he got in his car and drove and drove until he found the monastery again. He got out of his car and found the head monk.

"I can't forget that sound from that night I was here. Please, please please tell me what made that sound."

The head monk just shook his head. "I can't tell you; you're not a monk," he said.

"Then tell me how I can become a monk," the man said.

The head monk said "It's very difficult. Are you sure you want to do this?"

The man said "I've got to. I have to know what made that sound."

The head monk said, "To join us, you have to perform several tasks. Your first task is to count all of the stars visible in the sky."

The man thought about how hard that would be, but he had to know what made that sound. He sat up every night for a year, counting the stars over and over until he was sure how many stars were visible in the sky.

He went to the head monk and told him, and the monk nodded. "Very good. Your next task is to count all of the grains of sand on the beaches around the world."

The man knew this would be even harder, but he could not get the noise out of his head. He had to know what, what kind of animal, could make that terrible horrible mind-bending sound. So he left on his journeys. He crawled the length and breadth of every beach in the world, counting the grains of sand, and he returned to the monastery years later.

The head monk heard his answer and nodded. "Excellent. You are almost done. Your final task is to climb to the peak of the highest mountain in the world, and see yourself in relation to the rest of creation."

And the man knew this would be hard, but he outfitted himself, and he went to the highest mountain in the world, and he climbed to the top, and returned months later, older and wiser and more tired than years before when he had first heard the noise, the noise that would not leave his mind and that echoed in his every waking thought.

He returned, and the head monk saw that he was wiser, and said "At last, you are a monk. Come with me."

And they walked through the monastery, its twisting and turning halls, and as they went the man heard the noise again, over and over, and he was no longer sure if it was the noise or merely his memory of it.

And finally, finally, he stood in front of the door and the head monk opened it up, and the man saw what had made the noise.

That's where you stop telling the joke. And your listeners, if you've told it right, will go crazy, and say "What was it?" And you look at them, and you say: "I'm sorry, I can't tell you. You're not a monk."

Put your mask aside and look into yourself

A young wife was concerned that her husband didn't notice her any more and told her husband.
Well, the next day, the husband comes home and the wife asks him, "Do you notice anything about me?"
The husband looks her up and down and says, "You've had you hair done."
"No," says the wife.
He thinks for a bit and says, "You're wearing new shoes."
"No, you gave them to me last Xmas."
He thinks again and says, "I know you've had your nails done."
"No," she answers.
The husband gives up and asks, "Well I don't know, what's different?"
The wife replies, "I'm wearing a gas mask!!

Everyone of us wears masks to make ourselves presentable to the people around us knowing pretty well that we are playing a hoax on ourselves. We refuse to take off our mask lest the others consider us to be nerds. We want acceptance from society, we are constantly on the look out for their approval, and so we are desperate in our attempts to please them. Have you ever thought about why you are doing what you are doing? "But that comes naturally," say some of the smart ones, "Aren't we supposed to be one among the crowd?". Not necessarily. All you need to know is what you are doing and why you are doing it. And it is not an easy thing to do. It may be easy to earn a million dollars, but it takes a tremendous amount of intelligence to find out about the simple answers to life. And only meditation can make you aware of your life's existence. All you have to do is sit silently and observe the flood of thoughts that take you hostage without reacting to them. Slowly, the thoughts fade away into the background leaving you with an unbounded joy. From that silent space springs forth a life that is devoid of all the trammels of society. And it is that that makes a life worthwhile. Not your power, not your prestige, not your loads of money or fame. The day man realises that, he truly becomes a human being from a human doing.

All my efforts at cycling those hundrends of thousands of miles over the years has been an effort to create that silent space inside me. Cycling and meditation? What a weird combination, people ask me. But they forget to realise that when I go on a long bike ride, my body and mind are so tired that they stop their rebellious ways and give in to my soul. And a natural calmness descends of me which is beyond words. To achieve the same state, it takes years in sitting meditation, because the body and mind are not in tune with each other.

Went on a long 25 mile bike ride yesterday, after more than a week. It was a mindblowing experience, and the silence that had descended on me is too good to explain. I was simply a buddha, pure and unadulterated. That is what the buddhas has been saying all through the ages. Everyone is a buddha, only some of them realises it. And everytime I go on these marathon bike rides, I become one. So keep biking and keep healthy and happy.

How many times a week do I have to do that?

A young blonde female stock broker was bored with driving her BMW. It lacked individuality, and besides that every other girl in the office had one. She fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps a MG convertible.
That week she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored and she fell in love with its gorgeous red paint job. An empty check stub later, and off she was tearing down the leafy country lanes enjoying her beautiful new car. Her long blonde hair was flowing in the wind, music blaring from the radio, what could possibly go wrong?
At that thought there was a splutter from the engine and the car slowly coasted to a stop. She got out and lifted the bonnet and concluded after a few minutes that she didn't have a bloody clue what was wrong. Luckily she had her mobile phone with her and a quick phone call to the AutoClub and a short wait saw a bright shiny yellow van pull up behind her.
"That's a lovely car," said the mechanic. "What seems to be the matter?"
"Well, it just conked out I'm afraid."
"Let me have look." He set to work and ten minutes later the engine was purring like a cat again.
"Thank goodness," she said. "What was the matter
"Simple really, just crap in the carburetor," he replied.
Looking shocked she asked, "Oh, OK... How many times a week do I have to do that?"

Everyone who knows me asks me for tips on how to go vroom on their bikes, if at all they buy. And the first question they keep asking me is: How many times a week do I go out on my bike? I tell them it is not how many times you go about, but how passionate you are about changing your lifestyle. Everyone wants a method to take up something. And no one wants to do anything just for the pure joy of it. They don't realise that once the madness called method creeps in, it becomes like one of those office jobs. "But," they say, "if we don't have a way of doing things, how do we do them?" "Can't anything be done just for the heck of it?" I tell them. "For the pure joy of it?" They are so used to thinking in terms of corporate goals and rules, that they don't seem to be convinced with my answer and think that I am a nerd. And I repeat once again. If you can't do anything just for the heck of it, you don't have the inclination to savour the simple joys of life. It's like a kid riding a bicycle. Does he ask you for a method to bike? Not that I know of. He sees how you bike and once he learns it, he is off for the joyride of his life. However much you try to convince him, he wouldn't get off his bike. And that is the kind of attitude one should have if one seeks to appreciate cycling or jogging or meditation. Just for the pure play of it.

Except for the ride to office, couldn't go for long a bike ride today too. But managing to do the breathing exercises in the morning to keep myself in my elements. And spend a full one hour breathing my lungs out. I feel fresh and fully charged with energy once my exercise is over that I am ready to take on the world. But I miss my bike rides. Once my assignment is done, I will go on a 100 mile ride to make up for the loss. Anyone wants to join me?

What a waste of life!!

A man, who had three girlfriends, was in a quandary which one to marry. So he decides to give each one $5,000 and see how each of them spends it.
The first one goes out and gets a total makeover with the money. She gets new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works.
She tells the man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much."
The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a television, and a stereo and gives them to the man.
She says, "I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much."
The third one takes the $5,000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the $5,000 to the man and reinvests the rest.
She says, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much."
The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the money, and decided to marry the one with the biggest tits.

You cannot win in life unless you live it consciously -- with full of awareness. The confusion is going to hound you however rich or powerful you might be. Ironically, the richer you are, the crazier your life becomes. Because you have tied yourself in complex knots of power, prestige, honour, and the like and estranged yourself from the simple things in life that offer you the best happiness. So much so that you mull over even simple things like eating your breakfast or taking a shower as your mind is constantly involved in thinking about the 'bigger' things in life -- like the stock market, how you dress for the corporate boardroom meeting, or what present to take to your boss's wife on her birthday to impress her and the like.

What a waste of life. Cycling and meditation are two things that pull you out of the complex society's demands and put you on the pedestal to your personal glory. And the reason is simple. Whether it is cycling or meditation or zen, for the first time you get time for yourself -- to brood over your life -- far far away from the madness of society.

Unfortunately, for the last one week I was so involved in my 14-hour-a-day work shifts that I could not go on a long ride. Neither could I go for jogging. But the least I could do was dynamic meditation and made the most of it, even if it was only for half-an-hour. That explains why I didn't update my blog too. This is going to continue for another two weeks, but I intend to go on long rides once every two days at least. For the moment, I've been using my bike as usual to go to office -- 6 miles one way and making the most use of it going speed biking in the traffic. It gives its own thrill and the joyride after a day's work is really refreshing.

Pedal your way to glory

An American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna.
The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked, "How long did it take for you to catch them?"
The Mexican replied, "Only a little while."
The American then asked, "Why didn't you stay out longer and catch more fish?"
The Mexican said, "I have enough to support my family's immediate needs."
The American then asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"
The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, senor."
The American scoffed, "I am a Wharton MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats. Eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise."
The Mexican fisherman asked, "But senor, how long will this all take?"
To which the American replied, "15-20 years."
"But what then, senor?
The American laughed and said, "That's the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions."
"Millions, senor? Then what?"
The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."
"But senor, that is what I'm doing now," said the Mexican.

Everyone wants to look busy and act busy as if the world would come to an end if they don't hurry up. In their frenzy to earn a fast buck, people have sold their soul, literally. Yes, very few people have the time to reflect on their life and savour the splendour of silence. The offshoot of this has been that they have been bereft of real happiness and have been substituting it with the pleasures of the market. Increasingly, they are becoming desperate for this or that thing and can't find out the reasons for their restlessness. If only people spend a little time sitting in silence, half the miseries in their world would come crashing down instantly. Because in the first place they were not there. But the irony is only when one goes into the silent depths of the soul can one realise that. I have done it, so I can say it with a tonne of confidence.

Sunday is a lovely day to go into the depths of the soul. And I did just that. I went on a 40-mile bike ride into the outskirts of the city trudging along the valleys, plunging into the deep gorges, and straining in the mud roads. The swaying of the dry leaves in the fields, the simplicity of the farmers and the innocence of their children writ large on their faces added a new zest to my ride. But, most of all, the cool wind challenging you to beat it at its game while at the same time gently pushing you to pedal your way to glory, oh, it's a wonderful feeling to be a biker.

Stop the pursuit of happyness

A young man with a fine voice is asked to take part in a pageant play, though he tries to beg off, saying he always gets embarrassed under such circumstances.
He is assured it will be very simple, and he will have only one line to say: "I come to snatch a kiss, and dart into the fray. Hark! I hear a pistol shot..." and then stride offstage.
At the performance he comes onstage, very embarrassed already by the tight-fitting colonial knee-breeches he has been made to put on at the last moment, and becomes completely unstrung at the sight of the beautiful heroine lying back on a garden seat, awaiting him, in a white gown.
He clears his throat and announces: "I come to kiss your snatch -- no! -- snatch a kiss, and fart into the dray -- I mean, dart into the fray! Hark! -- I hear a shistol pot -- no! -- a shostil pit, a pistil shit. Oh, bat shit, rat shit, shit on you all! I never wanted to be in this damned play anyhow!"

No one wants to be miserable, but they don't realise that their very wanting to be happy is the root cause of their misery. 'I want to' is the biggest disease haunting the world today, not AIDS, not hepatitis B. People don't want to be happy right now and right here. They set goals to be happy. And the ridiculous goals read like this: "I will be happy when I buy a car." Does he really become happy when he buys a car? No. Instead of driving down merrily in his car, he sets another goal to become happy and the car becomes irrelevant. His next goal becomes something like: "I want to own a house or a palatial mansion (depending on the person's imagination)" and he strives towards it. And he goes on and on till he realises that all his life he was 'wanting' something or the other but didn't exactly want to live. Because the moment you possess something, you don't want it anymore.

The same is the case with marriage. Till you marry, you have dreams of how you would lead a life of bliss. And you do for a couple of months (it's reduced to a couple of days) and the marriage turns sour because of your very longing to be happy with your spouse. The spouse no more becomes important, but what he/her does becomes important. They slowly try to change the person to his/her demands because there was no happiness in the marriage. And the goal has turned on to something more materialistic to become happy: setting up a house, providing a good education for the child, buying a new house, etc, etc, etc... When do we learn that happiness is not a thing to be pursued but a state of mind that can only be lived?

Sages have understood the dilemma of the human being and have advocated meditation as the tonic to get rid of the evil. But people neither have the time nor the inclination for meditation because they feel if they stand and stare they would be left out of the rat race. And a rat race is it. Because it is like moving around in circles not knowing for what.

Was too caught up with streamlining my blogging activity that I couldn't find time to go for an extended spiritual marathon. But however, I did my regular hourlong breathing exercise and followed it by another hour of sitting meditation. In the evening I made up for the morning's biking by going on a 15 mile bike ride in and out of the city.

Now you are talking!!

Moskowitz met Finklestein on the street one day and said, "Finkelstein, have I got a bargain for you! An elephant! A whole living elephant for just one hundred dollars."
Finklestein said, "Are you crazy? What do I want with an elephant?"
"It's a beautiful elephant," continues Moskowitz, "all grey, ten feet tall, complete with a trunk."
"But I have nothing to feed it on," cried Finkelstein. "I live in a three-room apartment. I have no place to put it in."
But Moskowitz went on: "Two beautiful tusks, maybe two feet long. It is a magnificent beast. They don't make them like that anymore."
"Moskowitz," said Finkelstein, almost screaming, "I have a three-room walk-up apartment on the fifth floor. Where will I keep an elephant?"
"You are a hard man, Finkelstein," said Moskowitz. "I will tell you what, I will throw in a second whole elephant for only $50 extra."
Finkelstein smiled and said, "Now you are talking!"

Life, the way we are living, is about how smart we are in outwitting the other person. Never mind it ain't make a difference to our life or our outlook towards life. It gives that momentary massage to the ego. And we get a mighty kick out of it. If only we realise that a greater and grander thrill can be had from elsewhere, especially dancing, we wouldn't want to impress the other person. Isn't it? Ask any dancer and he will vouch for it. Because in dance, or cycling, or running for that matter, you have a feeling that your body is melting and that you are just a pillar of energy. The lightness gives an ultrahigh that can't be equated with anything else in the world. That is why great sages all over the world, especially the Sufis have been advocating dance as a form of meditation.

To take a detour from the usual running and biking, I danced away the whole morning. And what a wonderful relief it was. I occasionally dance away my blues and there is nothing like a solid one hour dance. The Shamans claim that dancing you fall into ecstasy. The more you dance, they say, the more on gets merged with the godliness. And as I occasionally dance away to glory in the middle of the night, I can say with pride that I have reached such ecstatic heights.

In the evening I went on a regular bike ride inside city on my way back home. The heat and the pollution, however, are playing havoc and I've been sweating profusely getting drenched in the sweat by the time I reach home. But what to do I love it.

Laughter therapy for the soul

A Preacher wanted to raise money for his church and, being told there were fortunes in race horses, he decided to purchase one and enter it in the races. However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was so steep he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since hehad it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races, and to his surprise the donkey came in third.
The next day the racing sheets carried the headlines: "Preacher's Ass shows".
The Preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the races again and this time he won.
The papers said: "Preacher's Ass out in Front"
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Preacher not to enter the donkey in another race.
The newspaper printed this headline: "Bishop Scratches Preacher's Ass".
This was just too much for the Bishop and he ordered the Preacher to get rid of the animal. The Preacher decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The headlines the next day read, "Nun has the Best Ass in Town."
The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to dispose of the donkey and she finally found a farmer who was willing to buy it for $10.00.
The paper stated: "Nun Peddles Ass for Ten Bucks"
They buried the Bishop the next day.

The best part of any vigorous activity -- be it cycling, running, swimming, or playing any sport is that you are not dead anymore but alert to everything that is going on around you. That is because the vigorous activity gives you a sense of agility and athleticism. And you don't keep up a pretence and smile to yourself when you listen to something that is hilarious, but burst out in peals of laughter. You are not you anymore but a ball of energy 24x7.

Went on the regular spiritual triathlon to the green lungs of the city -- the Osho Teerth Park, and came back after a long 15 mile ride for a one-hour session of meditation. The more I run and bike, the more my meditation runs deep and silent. And the more the meditation runs deep, the more I am able to run and bike. Apart from commuting to work and going on errands, I go on 10 mile bike rides in the evening too unless I am caught up in work. So yesterday, once again, I went on a long journey to the outskirts of the city to freshen up my lungs and fill them up with a burst of oxygen. Had great fun.

Oh, my God, what a lovely morning!

One tranquil afternoon in the deep forest, Doobeedoo, the very handsome frog, is preparing to go for a little hop around the pond. He is feeling pretty good about things today, and a little 'out there', so he puts on his flashy new white Yves Saint-Laurent swimsuit.
He goes out and takes in the beautiful morning. The sun is streaming softly through the tall pine trees.
Doobeedoo takes a big breath of fresh air and smiles. Then full of life, he says to a passing deer, "I am God!"
He hops on for a while, and when he comes across a family of dragonflies, he puffs out his chest and says, "I am God!"
A little further on, he comes to Doreen the duck. He makes big eyes at her and in a spiritual tone says, "I am God!"
Doreen looks at the frog and says, "What?"
Doobee says again, "I am God!"
"I have been watching you," says Doreen, "and you have been telling that to everyone around the pond. Are you serious, or is it just that flashy white Yves Saint-Laurent swimsuit?"
"I am God!" says Doobee again.
"Enough of your silliness," says the duck. "Away with you, you smart-faced jerk!"
At this, Doobee pulls down his white swimsuit and exposes his machinery.
Doreen looks in amazement and says slowly, "Oh my God!"

Life is a rollercoaster ride of fun and laughter. And if we can set aside our self-imposed seriousness and take a dip in the mirth surrounding all around us, the world would be a lot more healthy and happy.

The morning was lovely and the sweet sounds of the birds and the glorious sun rise, pulled me out of my bed. I put on my shoes and went for a refreshing bike ride to the park for my daily dose of morning freshness. Ran round the park for more than an hour, got on the bike for a 10-mile ride and ultimately collapsed into an hour-long meditation -- the best that can ever happen after a glorious morning workout. Only that it is not a work out but a wonderful act of play.

Later in the evening I went for a long marathon-like bike ride into the interior areas of the city to explore the sights and sounds of a bustiling metropolis that lies hidden for the outsiders. There is a medieval feel to Pune's inner city. Time seems to stand still here. And it is a lovely lesson in cultural diversity.

Out cycling again?

Paddy decides to go rabbit shooting, but when he gets to his favourite field he sees the village priest is already there. Paddy watches with fascination as the priest holds his finger over a rabbit hole and immediately a rabbit pops out. The priest grabs it andputs it into a sack.
He repeats this unusual but verysuccessful technique until his sack is full ofrabbits.
Paddy stops the priest and asks him how hedoes it.
“Easy,” says the priest. “Put your finger on your wife's pussy and then hold it over a rabbit hole. They can't resist the smell, so when they come out, grab them.”
As this sounds much easier than shooting, Paddy rusheshome to find his wife bent over scrubbing the floor. He lifts up her skirt and applies his finger as directed.
Without looking up, she giggles, “Father! Rabbit hunting again?”

The first thing you are greeted with by friends on seeing you is: Out cycling again? You may try to hide the tens of hundreds of miles you've out on from them lest they think that you are some weirdo, but the unmistakable glow on your face is a giveaway.

Went on the usual spiritual triathlon in the morning: 10 miles of running, 5 miles of cycling and an hour of meditation. But I must tell you, the run was not without its pain. I've developed some pain on the left side of the left knee after I've logged on 6 miles. I didn't want to give up as I would feel devoid of my regular dose of adrenaline. So I plodded on, but instead I cut down on the number of cycling miles by five. The pain is not severe but the discomfort of it is. Any suggestions on how to get relief from the pain? Will be grateful if you have any.

An unexpected bonanza

There were these two guys in a bar, which was on the 20th floor of a building. The first man said, "I bet you $100 I can jump out that window and come straight back in.
The second man says, "Ok, sure."
And the barman holds the bet.
The first man jumps out the window and disappears for a second before jumping straight back in.
Disappointed about losing the $100, the second man says, " I'll bet you another $100 you can't do it again."
So the barman holds the bet.
Sure enough, the first man jumps out the window, disappears for a second, then jumps straight back in.
Thinking he must have caught a freak gust of wind, the second man says, "Ok, I bet you $300 I can jump out the window and come straight back in."
The first man says" Ok, sure."
The second man jumps out the window and falls to the footpath below. He is dead.
Back up in the bar, the barman says to the first man, " Gee, you can be a bastard when you're pissed, Superman."

It was an unexpected bonanza. And what a treat it was. Yesterday evening I casually wanted to go for a 5 mile ride in search of a school. But somewhere I lost track of the school and got on to another road that took me to the countryside. With the cool evening breeze blowing in my face, and the area totally devoid of pollution, I decided to forget about the school and kept pedalling till I thought I would be tired. And turn back afterwards. I pedalled for an hour and a half and reached a pilgrimage centre on the other end of the city. And which was connected to the city fro the other end. It was a cool 25 mile ride. And what made it all the more memorable was the fact that I did some speed biking so that my meditation would run deeper than normal. And the experience can't be explained in words. I intend to repeat the performance very soon. And as many times as possible.

To cash in on the 25-mile bike ride, I went for the three-hour spiritual triathlon -- 10 mile running, 10 mile biking and an hour of meditation -- this morning. I thought I would have body pains because of yesterday's bike ride, but my system seems to have got used to the gruelling runs and the rides. It was not out of tiredness that I stopped, but out of the feeling that it might be a strain on my body. I will tend to get rid of this notion and bike till I drop dead.

PS: Wanna bike/run a 100 miles in a day. Any suggestions on how to go about it?

Zen and the art of dynamic meditation

In a little shack in the outback of Australia, Bruce, Edna and their daughter Shirley have finished their kangaroo stew dinner and are arguing about who is going to do the washing up. There's a big fight, and finally Bruce suggests that they all lie down on the floor and the first person to move does the dishes.
The same night, Hamish MacTavish is driving his oldpick-up nearby, when the radiator overheats. He sees the shack and walks over there to get some water. Going into the shack, he finds everyone lying on the floor, so he decides to help himself to water. On his way to the kitchen, he steps over Shirley, and in a moment of passion, jumps on her and screws her.
He gets up from Shirley and finds Edna on the kitchen floor. The temptation is too great for Hamish and he jumps on Edna too.
Then he takes some water back to his truck, but while he is filling the radiator, he burns his arm. Hamish rushes into the shack and cries out, “Have you got any vaseline?”
Hearing this, Bruce jumps up and yells, “Okay, okay! I will do the dishes!”

We are what we think or rather don't think. And our mind is so filled with nonsense that we react only when we are confronted by the perverse reality -- it may be an accident, a death, or the loss of health. But the wise ones perceive the situation in its totality and take the lead to make a difference not only to their lives but also to others'. Total health does not mean absence of illness but the presence of a boundless energy. And no one has realised it better than the neighbourhood runner who plods on without end for the simple joy of life, or the cyclist who has made cycling his way of life. Let us wake up to the reality before it is too late. Though it is never too late.

It was an anti-climax today after having woken up earlier than the normal days to go for that long run, my cycle had a flat tyre. So I had to make do with an hour's dynamic meditation -- of breathing my lungs out, chattering my nonsense away, and hoo-ing my guts out. It was good fun as I was able to throw out all my nonsense and follow it up with a steadfast sitting meditation stretching for 45 minutes. It may not come any way near the spiritual triathlon that I pursue everyday, but still it was a wonderful experience. Want to know how to do dynamic meditation, log on to www.osho.com. Have fun.

I get these dizzy spells every time I jerk off!

Willie Weary, a middle-aged businessman, stumbles in to see Doctor Nutcase in his Hollywood surgery.
“Doc, I have got this problem.” confides Willie Weary. “You see, my secretary, Millie, loves to make love. Every morning, when I get to work, instead of bringing me a cup of coffee, she throws me across my desk and makes passionate love to me! Then, just before lunch, she pushes me up against the filing cabinet for a quickie. And before I leave work at the end of the day, she always gives me a farewell screw.”
“Hmmm!” says Doctor Nutcase. “So what seems to be the problem?”
“Well, you see, Doc,” explains Willie Weary, “my wife, Dottie, is a nymphomaniac. Every morning before I get up, she jumps on me and we screw until the alarm clock goes off. Then, when I go home for lunch each day, we have a quick one while I am eating my spaghetti. And then, each night we have a marathon session before we go to sleep!”
“Hmmm!” says Doctor Nutcase. “I still don't see what your problem is!”
“Well, Doctor,” explains Willie Weary, “I get these dizzy spells every time I jerk off!”

A good joke is always a welcome relief. We stop whatever work we do, and however important it is, to give an ear to the joke. And so does cycling. And running. And meditation. They not only refresh your body, mind and soul but act as a soothing balm to the tired and weary. They infuse a fresh lease of life making everything in the world a simplistic affair.

Got up late as I had a late nightout reading a novel titled "War Brides". A pretty old novel about three Australian women who fall in love with American GIs during the latter's brief sojourn in Australia at the time of Second World War. The novel is about the women's failed hopes, dashed ambitions, and the like. Good to read as it throws light on how people mess up with their lives yearning for things that they know for sure is not possible.

Couldn't go for spiritual triathlon in the morning. But did some amazing breathing meditation. Not possible to go out in the evening too. But tomorrow I would square it up with some renewed running and biking.

I'm running as fast as I can

Hamish McTavish walks into an appliance store and asks the price of a remote-controlled TV.
“One dollar,” replies the clerk.
“You've got to be kidding,” says Hamish.
“Listen,” says the clerk, “do you want it or not
Of course, Hamish gives him the dollar.
On his way out of the store, he sees a bigrefrigerator. “How much for that?” asks Hamish.
“Fifty cents,” replies the clerk.
Hamish pulls out fifty cents and gives it to theclerk. “What the hell is going on here?” he asks.
“Nothing is going on here,” replies the clerk. “But my boss is at my house with my wife and what he is doing to her, I am doing to his business.”

Too busy as I was caught up in my employment rigmarole. Had to attend my final interview, plus run around my other office to produce my pay slip and other paraphernalia so that they would give me my offer letter. Only later can I decide whether the pay is okay for me or not. Strange are the ways of organisations. They know how to stretch the red tape longer than than the twin towers of Malaysia. You may trip over or may wound yourself but it doesn't concern them. They have to follow their rules. The more globalisation changes the way business is done, the more companies entangle them in red tape. Can't complain. That's the way of the world. Only when companies realise that red tape is in the mind not in the people can there be a real transformation in how things are done.

However, there is a silver lining too. I managed to fix my running and cycling schedule and integrate it into my meditation. And it goes like this: I would get up in the morning at 4 am, meditate for an hour and get ready to go for my 10 mile jog, followed by 5 mile cycling. I would cool my heels with another round of 45-minute meditation. I've put it into practice in the last two days. And I would gradually like to extend my pedalling miles. And I must tell you, after all the running and cycling, I get so exhausted that I don't need to do meditation, it happens automatically. And it is bliss.

Fresh breath energy

One day Lupo is walking home when he notices a huge gorilla standing on the roof of his house. Not knowing what to do about it he looks in the phonebook under Gorilla Removals. Then he calls up George's Get Lost Gorilla Service and explains the situation.
Ten minutes later George arrives with a banana, a bulldog, a butterfly net, a ladder and a loaded gun.
“Okay,” says George, “it is quite a simple thing. I am gonna throw the banana at the gorilla, and while he is busy eating it, I am gonna climb up the ladder and push him off the roof. Then the bulldog is trained to grab him by the nuts, and when the gorilla holds himself in pain, you throw this butterfly net over him.”
“Great!” shouts Lupo, with enthusiasm. “But what about the gun?”
“Well,” explains George, “if I miss the gorilla and fall off the roof myself, you shoot the dog!”

Life is a lot more simple if only we have a little bit of awareness. People tend to put on serious faces when it is needed. And it is a pity that they don't know that it costs nothing to put on a smile. And that a smiling face ignites not only life in others but also in oneself. With that driving force one can take on the world with an unbounded joy 24x7.


I couldn't cycle much today as I was busy poring through the net for some clues on how to make my blog popular. I spent a whole evening on that and if any one of you have any ideas please feel free to tell me. I'll gladly lap up every idea with the greediness of a starved gorilla. However, I did some wonderful breathing exercise: deep diaphragmatic exercise which involves the rapid throwing out of the carbon dioxide through the nose. It should be as rapid as possible, so that a flush of oxygen takes its place. If you want to look at life from a godly perspective, everyone should do this exercise first thing in the morning. It is called dynamic meditation and devised by the controversial godman Bhagwan Rajneesh, popularly called Osho.
Photo: Dynamic meditation in progress

Wanna bet on your life?

Silverman is killed in an accident and Mendel Kravitzis was sent to break the news to his wife.
“Be careful how you tell her,” advises a friend. “She is a very delicate woman.”
Mendel knocks on the door and Mrs. Silverman comes out.
“Are you the widow of Silverman?” he asks.
“Certainly not,” she replies.
“Want to bet?” asks Mendel.

Humour not only lifts up the spirits but also oils the wheels of a drab and digusting life that you come across a dime a dozen in the marketplace. That is because they are so caught up in their work that they don't have the time or the inclination to laugh. Forget about laughing at themselves or against themselves. It doesn't take much to out on a serious countenance but takes an awful presence of mind to be humorous. And what best way to cultivate the humorous side of your life than with cycling? It may sound odd but once you get down to explore the funny side, the solitary bikind escapades throw up a lot of humorous ideas and anecdotes that you wouldn't have the time to find if you were a normal human being.

Today I went on a a shopping spree in the small lanes of the city where I live in, Pune, to buy some stuff for myself. But not before putting on some 20 miles. And another six-odd miles went into the shopping cycling. In effect, I managed to complete the marathon-da-day schedule which I have fixed for myself. But when would I accomplish the 100 mile goal?

It's good to be smart but great to be happy

A very proper Englishman goes into a bar one night, sits down, but does not order a drink.
The bartender, an unusually friendly guy, asks him if he would like adrink on the house.
The Englishman shakes his head.“I tried liquor once,” he says. “Did not like it.”
Still trying to be friendly, the bartender asks him if he would like to join a couple of the boys for a few hands of poker.
The Englishman shakes his head. “Tried gambling once,” he says. “Did not like it. In fact, I would not be waiting in this place at all, but I promised my son I would meet him here.”
“I see,” says the bartender. “Your only child, I assume.”

It is good to be smart, but great to be healthy and happy. And it wouldn't be a misnomer to say that both of them are interlinked. If you are healthy and happy, you radiate a great sense of goodwill that cultivates in you a wellspring of intelligence and smartness. You become quick-witted because you live a life that is always on the edge. If you are cycling tens of miles just for the heck of it, you are not only making it a personal statement but you are open to all the possibilities in life. Especially humour. Because you love to be a kind and loving soul in the company of friends and elders. It is a natural byproduct of cycling.

I was bombarded with these thoughts while I was on a long ride in the lanes and bylanes of the city. Normally, I go for a long ride in the outskirts of the city. But, of late, I have been trying to discover the pattern of the city: how people live, what kind of houses they live in, their socio-economic status and the like. It has just been an inquisitive feeling. Because every time I go for a ride, I come across some unusual thing or the other. Most of the time I don't let my mind wander away, but sometimes I give in and the result is some probing questions from the heart. Well, I should be getting over it any time. Meanwhile, I did some wonderful breathing exercise in the morning: some rapid breathing that hits the interiors of the lungs, throws out all the carbon dioxide and flushes them with oxygen. After work in the evening I went on a long ride, as I said, in the interiors of the city on my way home.

How do you bike 25 miles?

Three guys are fishing in the Caribbean. One guy says, "I had a terrible fire; lost everything. Now the insurance company is paying for everything and that's why I'm here."
The second guy says, "I had a terrible explosion; lost everything. Now the insurance company is paying for everything and that's why I'm here."
The third guy says, "What a coincidence. I had a terrible flood; lost everything. Now the insurance company is paying for everything and that's why I'm here."
The other guys turned to him with confusion and asked, "Flood? How do you start a flood?"

Starting a flood may be the prerogative of Mother Nature, but getting on to a bike to keep in shape and spread your joy for miles on end is exclusively yours. And mine. And ours. Cycling is such a wonderful passion that you just can't resist yourself from getting on your bike and get going. It doesn't matter where you are going. And 90 per cent of the time you don't know where you are going either. You get on to the bike and it will steer you to your no-destination and back after you've had your fill. In process you discover a number of roads near your colony, near your office, or on the outskirts of the city. It was one such ride I went on today. The evening was pleasant and I was in a mood to clock some miles inside the city for a change. And so I got on my bike and kept going. And going. And going. I went like that for some 25 miles. Till I called it a day.

To go or not to go that's the dilemma

One night, after their owner is asleep, the parts of the body were arguing about which has the toughest job.
“I’ve really got it tough,” moan the feet. “He puts me in these smelly sneakers, makes me jog until I have blisters... it’s awful!”
“You’ve got no reason to complain,” says the stomach. “Just last night, I got nothing but beer, spaghetti and aspirin. It’s a miracle I kept it together.”
“Ah, quit bitching, you two,” moans the prick. “Every night he sticks me up a dark tunnel and makes me do push-ups until I throw up!!”

Don't wait till the body throws up and you end up in an hospital. Get on that bicycle and keep going. Like I did today. I was in the least bit interested in going for a bike ride as I was nursing a bad mood. But somewhere inside me a voice kept saying (ever since I started cycling I have been listening to that inner voice) "Go, go, get on the bicycle, you'll be real good". After a little bit of hesitation, I got on my bike and went on a 40 km ride. The first 10 km was a very slow ride, but after that I picked up pace and zoomed past the traffic till I reached the end of the city. I cooled my heels for a while and got back on my bike and rode past with an air of serenity writ large all over.

A wonderful feeling it was indeed!! So the next time I know that it is better to get on the bike than to keep wrestling with my mind whether to do it or not to do.

Take care and have fun and don't forget to look forward to loads of humour and biking ecstasy

Breathing life into biking

A potato and a carrot are hitch-hiking at the side of the road when a cyclist comes around the corner and runs down the potato.
The next day the carrot goes to visit his friend in the hospital. The potato does not look too good.
“Tell me, doc,” says the carrot anxiously, “do you think my friend will be okay?”
“He may recover,” replies the doctor, “but frankly, for the rest of his life he will be a vegetable.”

One of the reasons I go for cycling is that I don't want to end up as a vegetable. A life without any vigorous activity like running, jogging, cycling, breathing or going to the gym is akin to a vegetable's. Only when one is religiously into any of these activities or all of them can one discern the difference. Otherwise we tend to take misery to be normal and excitement to be happiness. And both are two sides of the same coin. They keep you depressed after the initial euphoria subsides.

My goal is to complete a 100 mile bike ride. And towards this end I have been going on long rides almost every day. And when I don't get to go on my rides, I go for a 10 km jog or do an hour of intense breathing exercises to compensate for the bike ride. Today was one such day where I couldn't go for a ride. And neither for jogging. So I settled down for an hour of breathing to lift my energy levels. Tomorrow I wish to go on a long ride: a 50 km-odd ride followed by some trekking to a hill-fort in the vicinity. Till then keep biking and have fun.

Wheeling into heaven

A devout cyclist dies and goes to heaven. Saint Peter meets him at the gate. The cyclist asks if there are bicycles in heaven.
Peter says, "Sure, let me show you," and leads the guy into the finest Velodrome you can imagine.
"This is great," the cyclist says.
"You will love it here," says Peter. "You will be fitted a custom track bike, the mechanics will glue on fresh silks each night, and your personal masseuse is always available."
As they speak a blur flys by them on the boards riding a gold plated Cinelli and the cyclist says: "Wow he was fast, that must be Eddy Merck!"
"No," says Peter, "that was God, he only thinks he's Eddy".

Cycling is heaven whatever the critics might say. As we race past on the bike with the wind blowing against our face, and we are drenched in sweat, it produces an exhilaration that cannot be described in words. To make the most of cycling and to bike some more miles I went for a 10 km jog today. The jog instilled in me a serene calm and when I stepped on to the bike after that I felt like a meditator on the move. My body and mind were still and the silence pierced deep into the interior core of my being. To entrench that feeling I biked for a couple of hours before I finally reached home and lied down on the bed to let the ecstatic energy seep into the inner vitals. In effect I had some four hours of biking meditation today and relished the godly feeling. Looking forward for more of that godliness in the coming days.

What a ride it was!!

After being caught up in the workplace for a couple of days, I went on a wonderful ride -- a 40-odd kilometre ride up some mountain terrain in the evening. It was a glorious sight as I cooled my heels at a lake with the sun setting in the background. To cash in on the exhilirating experience, I had a wonderful one hour session of meditation -- one of the best ever in recent times. My mind was so silent and my meditation so deep that it can't be described in words.

Food for cycling thought

A Zen Teacher saw five of his students return from the market, riding their bicycles. When they had dismounted, the teacher asked the students, "Why are you riding your bicycles?"

The first student replied, "The bicycle is carrying this sack of potatoes. I am glad that I do not have to carry them on my back!" The teacher praised the student, saying, "You are a smart boy. When you grow old, you will not walk hunched over, as I do."

The second student replied, "I love to watch the trees and fields pass by as I roll down the path." The teacher commended the student, "Your eyes are open and you see the world."
The third student replied, "When I ride my bicycle, I am content to chant, nam myoho renge kyo." The teacher gave praise to the third student, "Your mind will roll with the ease of a newly trued wheel."

The fourth student answered, "Riding my bicycle, I live in harmony with all beings." The teacher was pleased and said, "You are riding on the golden path of non-harming."

The fifth student replied, "I ride my bicycle to ride my bicycle." The teacher went and sat at the feet of the fifth student, and said, "I am your disciple."

Author Unknown